Celebrate the uniqueness of each child

We ran into a problem when we went from having two children to having three.  Our first child was great with people – he entertained and captivated virtually everyone he met.  At one point we went to the DMV in NY to renew our licenses.  He was about five at the time.  He walked to the front of the crowded room, turned to face the waiting masses, and broke out into “Take me out to the ball game.”  He sang the entire song and then waited for the applause he was sure would follow.

Our second child showed an early ability to draw and sketch well.  We celebrated this trait since neither parent has it – the best we can determine is that it must have come from her paternal grandmother who is an artist.  So we were often affirming the drawings that this child created.

Our third child didn’t demonstrate any early propensities or gifts that were obvious to us.  We realized that we were praising his older brother and sister for their gifts, but that we weren’t exactly sure what behavior of his we should celebrate.  Then I noticed one night that when I went to put him to bed he gave me an extra strong hug.  I began to make an issue of his hugs and would often tell him that I needed one of his special hugs.  He would light up and squeeze the air from my lungs.  Now he knows that when I ask for an “endorphin release” he is being asked to wrap me in his arms and constrict.

The moral?  Find something unique to celebrate about each child.  With some children  the trait(s) may be obvious, but with others you may have to be intentional and inventive.  Just find it – whatever it may be.

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