About this blog

This blog looks at how families express themselves and provides practical suggestions for improving communication.  Of course, "effective" and "improving" are value-laden terms, so while you may not agree with each of my suggestions, I do hope you'll keep stopping by to find the nuggets that work for you and those you love.  As you find ideas of value, please share this page with others.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My theory on parenting–in a nutshell

OK, this one is short and you may totally disagree, but here goes. . . .

My view on parenting: “You’re going to screw your children up; it’s only a question of how badly and in what areas.  My goal is to screw them up as little as possible, in the least consequential areas.”

nutshellPerhaps some of you may prefer a more upbeat viewpoint: “You will influence your children in many ways; it’s only a question of how much and in what areas.  My goal is to influence them as positively as possible, in the most significant areas.”

The bottom line: Parenting is about influence and influence grows from:

  1. Time spent interacting
  2. Effective communication of key values – both in word and action, with an emphasis on consistency of word and action
  3. The referent power of the influencer (the degree to which those you influence want to be like you) – this typically involves both respect for the influencer and attraction to the influencer
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