Other adults are influencing our children

That heading is self-evident.  We’ve known this since the time our children headed off to school.  It’s been true of the activities they’ve joined, the camps they’ve attended, and the innumerable other venues in which we’ve placed them.

Still, it can’t be ignored when your teenage son suddenly exhibit behaviors you weren’t expecting, only to find out that they are due, in large measure, to the influence of another adult in his life.

This summer our oldest began attending a Bible study with other young men.  The group is led by a 20-something engineering student working on his master’s.

We began to take notice when our son emptied the dishwasher unprompted, decided to get up early to study and read, memorized scripture, and was motivated to be productive in ways not typical for him.

For me, this was a great precursor to next year – his freshman year of college.  It reminded me that we are entering a phase of life where other adults will have significant impact on our children’s lives – at times it will feel as though the voices of those others are more influential than ours.

New voices attract attention.  New voices often articulate the same message you’ve been speaking, but using different words and images.  New voices are interesting – in part, because they are new.

As our children become independent adults, we must be cautious to not quit speaking into their lives, while being prepared that they may hear other speakers more readily for a time.  What we have in our favor is the bond of family, the power of repetition, and the home court advantage.  We’ve just got to be judicious in exercising that advantage and recalibrate our expectations to be realistic.

This time around I’m thankful for the outside voice and am praying for many more like it.

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Kitty Cam – exposing the secret lives of cats

For all of you cat owners – listen up!

Recently I heard a report on NPR about researchers from the University of Georgia who had attached miniature cameras to housecats to observe their behavior.  They studied 55 cats from the Athens, GA, area and this is what they found:

• 44% exhibited hunting behavior.
• 30% were successful in hunting.
• Animals killed (in decreasing frequency) were reptiles, small mammals, invertebrates (such as earthworms and moths), and birds.
• Although birds were stalked, sometimes for hours, very few were captured.
• The most interesting finding – many cats had second families that fed and cared for them while they were away from their primary residence.

One recommendation the researchers made – purchase a cat bib to keep your cat from being able to pounce on prey (see the picture).

You can hear the report by clicking on this link.

 

 

 

 

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Good Intentions Aren’t Good Enough

This past weekend we had 14 people staying in our home – a family reunion of sorts.  My sister and I each provide Myers-Briggs Type Indicator training to organizations and often get into discussions about personality type and its implications.  Since we are somewhat different in our types we bring contrasting perspectives to those conversations.

She pointed out that for many people intentions are real and feel as though they should count for something.  I pointed out that for many people intentions are indications of what may become real but are valueless if they don’t translate into actual behavior and results.

You may have seen the story about the 80-year-old woman in Spain who intended to restore a fresco of Jesus in her church.  Here is the before and after.  I take this as definitive proof that good intentions aren’t good enough.

Think about this as a conversation starter with your children – helping them to consider whether they think intentions should count for something or whether they are focused on results alone. You may learn something about your children’s wiring and how it relates to / differs from your own.  You may also want to sign them up for art classes.

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