Some ideas just resonate even if they can’t be proven. That’s how I’ve always felt about Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. It’s a simple concept that makes a lot of sense. It sort of reminds me of “Love Stinks” by the J. Geils Band:
You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure - love stinks
The problem in many relationships is that you really do love each other, but you express love in a way your partner cannot hear. According to Chapman, the five love languages are 1) Acts of service, 2) Physical touch, 3) Quality time, 4) Gifts, and 5) Words of affirmation. So a husband who washes the dishes and helps with the laundry is saying, “I love you” to his wife, but if she is craving quality time she may not hear his acts of service as love.
He loves her
She loves him
They love each other differently
So neither one wins
Love stinks
Successful communication is impossible if you don’t understand and speak the other person’s language. We need to be multilingual. Learn to speak the language of someone you love and they will hear your love more clearly than you ever imagined. No longer will you sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher: “Wah, wah, wah.”
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