Watching what you watch

According to our children we are the most restrictive parents on the planet.  I find that amusing, in part, because I know two things: 1) How I was raised, and 2) How some of our friends are raising their children.

One area we’ve tried to hold the line – and a significant reason for our “most restrictive parents” award – is in what our children view.  We are not nearly as restrictive as some when it comes to “screen time,” but we are more restrictive than many when it comes to content.  I guess you could say we are lenient on the quantity and restrictive on the quality.

For one thing, my kids know more about animals than I ever will.  Animal Planet deserves credit for part of this education.  And while I don’t find many of the comedies directed at young teens all that funny, they are no worse than the fare on which I was raised (Gilligan’s Island, Brady Bunch, Hogan’s Heroes, just to name a few).  [It turns out that Gilligan’s Island provided brilliant insight into the American democratic impulse – who knew?  Follow the link to read the article.]

Recently I read a story (in a book that I will feature in an upcoming newsletter) about a young girl whose relationship with her father was undermined because of something she saw on TV and didn’t know how to process properly.  The gist is that she thought all men were sexual predators and that her birth must be due to her father’s sexual aggression toward her mother.  Her family physician was able to help her reframe what she had seen and thereby to reassess her father’s character.

The point is quite simple – sometimes we forget that people really do develop over time and that our experiences shape our interpretation of what we see. When we, as adults, watch a movie or television show, we are able to put the actions and dialogue into the context of our life experience.  When children or young teens watch the same movie or television show they often lack (thankfully) the life experiences of an adult and so process what they see differently – or, sometimes, really have no idea how to process what they are seeing (consider the young girl mentioned in the preceding paragraph).

That’s why it’s important to watch what we allow our children to watch.  There are many things worse than being the most restrictive parents your children know. Besides if your children are like ours, they’ve learned to use hyperbole to bolster an otherwise sagging case.

Resource: I recommend With Kids in Mind – I use this when deciding what movies our children will be allowed to view.  It helps me to wield my “most restrictive” parenting power judiciously.  As I’m sure you know, the PG movie of the 70s and 80s is often the PG-13 movie of today, and not all PG-13 movies are created equal.  That’s where a tool like With Kids in Mind really helps.

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