Ten Lessons from 25 Years of Marriage

Judy and I have been asked to speak at a Valentine’s Day dinner for the young couples from our church.  Until recently we wanted to think we were a “young couple,” but as we approach 25 years of marriage this summer, we can no longer keep up that charade.

Here are the ten insights we are sharing – of course, we’ll provide some illustrations and explanations when we speak tonight.  Hope one is of interest and value to you.

1. Judy: Give up the need to be right on all of the details.
2. Stephen: You can win the argument and lose the heart of your spouse
3. Judy: Speak your spouse’s love language / understand their personality type (Myers-Briggs).
4. Stephen: Pick a personality assessment, know it, and apply its insights to your relationship.
5. Judy: Don’t air your spouse’s issues to friends.
6. Stephen: Read the books, listen to the speakers (like us), and then do what works for you.  Make your marriage your own.
7. Judy: We are good at forgiving and forgetting.
8. Stephen: Quit hinting and mindreading – say “This is what I need from you.”
9. Judy: Be your spouse’s best friend.
10. Stephen: Spend money on your relationship – invest in dating (babysitters when kids are young) and time away.

May you have a blessed culturally mandated expression of love on February 14th!

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