Sending signals – Like grammar, attitudes are caught

When I was a college professor, I would pick on my colleagues who taught English, asking why after taking both College Writing I and College Writing II, our students were such poor communicators.  The answer?  Grammar is caught more than it is taught.  Much of our mastery of grammar comes through listening to those with whom we grow up and is well established before we ever set foot in kindergarten.  That doesn’t mean people are incapable of improving their grammatical skills as they grow older, it just means they may be working against a deeply ingrained set of habits.

The other night Judy and I attended the open house at our children’s high school.  As we walked through their schedules, we came to a class where the teacher was going around the room, making comments about each child as the parents said their names.  Everything was quite positive – “Susie, she sits up front and asks great questions.  Sanjay is quiet and respectful – does well on his homework” and so forth.  Then she came to a set of parents and when they identified their child’s name, the teacher’s face took on a stern look and she said, “He needs a kick in the pants.  He needs to develop a work ethic.”

What the teacher couldn’t see was the back of the father’s shirt.  It was why I started laughing and jabbed Judy to make sure she was looking at his shirt.  It read: “Work sucks.”

Evidently attitudes about work and grammar are both caught more than they are taught.  This should remind us that we need to be careful what signals we are sending, particularly when we aren’t thinking consciously about teaching our children.  That’s when they are listening, watching, and learning to emulate.  What signals are you sending?

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