Resist omnicompetence–celebrate life as a piece of the puzzle

We live in one of those communities.  You know, the ones where parents compete through their children.  Our son went to a prayer summit for children held at the United Nations.  When my wife was explaining to one of his teachers why he had been absent, another mother standing nearby said: “Oh, I need to have Janelle do that next year.”  We’re fairly confident she hadn’t heard the prayer part of the equation and it wasn’t an annual event.  It was just hearing that our son had gone to the UN and realizing that sounded like something her daughter ought to do to keep up.

The problem with this type of setting is that it encourages what I call “omnicompetence” – the belief that parents, families, individuals should be able to do it all.  This is part of the crazy notion that effective parenting is telling your child she can be anything she wants to be.  Guess what?  If your daughter wants to play in the NBA, it isn’t going to happen – it’s a league for men.  If my sons want to play in the NBA, it isn’t going to happen – it’s a league for exceptional athletes.  Their failure to make the NBA won’t be because we haven’t spent enough time telling them they can be and do whatever they choose, but because they are my sons and they have inherited my genetic gifting – a makeup not predisposed to athleticism.

Let’s be honest with our children and with one another.  Let’s pursue what we do well and be thankful for those around us who do other things well.  Let’s try actually needing others rather than shutting them out with our rugged sense of completeness – our omnicompetence.  Release your need for divinity and celebrate that you are a piece of the puzzle, not the entire picture.

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